evaluation for task four

• What is the thesis for your paper? The thesis for my paper was writer's block and how it can effect people.

• List the main points you make in your paper. The struggles it takes to write your thoughts on paper, one minute you know what you want to say and the thoughts are gone.

• What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation? I like the feedback on the basics, spelling, punctuation and most times they catch things you haven't.

• What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper? Once again and as always, everything.

• How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting? I always write at the keyboard, unless we are in class. I see a laptop in my future. I do write notes, if I think of something away from the computer, however, I usually sit down and spill the whole thing on paper and then edit and edit and edit.I think I did a total of six drafts.
• What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on? I am not sure really, I know I have trouble with the summary. I think I got that down now though, I hope so.

• What are most pleased with about this paper I dont mean to sound boastful, but I did really like this paper. I am hopeing you do to. I really put myself in this one because I felt an instant connection with this essay.

Ø  If your reading and writing practices have changed since this class, how have they been modified because of English 100? I would say my reading practices are the same as I have been an avid reader for a long time, my writing practices are what have been influenced the most. I wouldn't say that I have achieved total freedom from my self conciousness when it comes to writing but I am a lot closer than I was before English 100. I love gaining more knowledge everyday as to what I have wanted to do for a very long time.

Ø  How have you become a better reader and/or writer? I think in some knowledge of how to write a paper, just like in anything, you gain more courage and self confidence. I am still pretty self concious and nervous to the point of craziness about the process and about people reading my work but it is worth it when someone says, "I liked that."

Ø  How has the blog encouraged you to write more thoroughly or has it not? I feel more encouraged with the blog because it is more freeing than haveing to sit down with a pen and paper and write it all out. I feel the keyboard is more freeing.

Ø  What did you like about having a blog in a reading and writing course? I like the fact that the comments were somewhat personal, I know people can still read them but I don't have to know about it. I also like that I don't have a paper trail behind me 100 miles long that I have to keep track of. I know I would lose half of them and spill something on the other. It is all together more convenient for me.

Ø  How is the blog similar to a journal? How is it different from a traditional journal? Where a personal journal is more your thoughts, ideas and full of your self expression, this is more to the point. You give us a subject and we take it from there, some of the steps are taken away, it is easier.

Ø  What kind of experience have you had for English 100? Please explain. I know I sound like a total kiss ass but I loved everybit of this experience. I know most of it is that it is so new and different for me but still I just love sitting and listening to everyone's points of view and experiences. It is very refreshing and mind opening when you are used to talking to the same people all the time with a very limited view on things for the most part. It is soul cleansing, if that makes any sense.

Ø  What would you like to see change with this class including the smaller writing assignments and/or the task papers? I would like some refreshers and maybe a little more infasis on sentence structure and proper use of everything, to and too or comma, colon or semi-colon. I know we reviewed a bit, but maybe a little more in depth or some web sites to go too. I didn't get enough of that in school, so I am re-learning alot of this. I think the atmoshpere is a relaxed and open one, we have discussed a lot of what could have been difficult subjects and I thought with the way it was introduced and brought to light made it ok to be talked about. If that makes sense. I wouldn't change a thing and I really enjoyed this semester.

response to question for task four

  Have you learned or gained anything?
     I think the idea that someone could enter college or any kind of setting like it and not learn anything is a crazy one. In the past 3 months I have gained knowledge of the mind and most important, knowledge of myself. I have learned that I am allot smarter than I thought, you are never to old to learn and that I am capable of a lot more. I have had some struggles, but all in all, I feel stronger and more empowered everyday.
     I don't remember the process of learning to read. I can remember bits and pieces but that is about it. I do love to read, I think no matter what you read, fiction/non-fiction, you will come away learning something. Even in fictional stories there is some truth to them. The process of learning, now this is a different story. I have trouble with communicating and being around other people for a long period of time. This can make things difficult, when I get this way it is hard to concentrate on anything but getting out of the situation. I have found that in a learning environment it doesn't seem to bother me as much. I think it is the distraction, if I am interested in what I am hearing, it takes my mind off of other things. There are other times that it doesn't seem to matter when or what is going on that I can't break the spell, but more often than not I get through it. I am kind of amazed really. I wonder if that is why I am liking school so much.
     I am aware of the fact, how lucky I am to have the ability to read, write and learn. I can't imagine a world without it. In some of the essay's I have been reading they talk about the power or importance of reading or what a book can do for them. I have never thought of it that way but what they say is so true, a book can keep you company, take you away when you are bored or need a break, it can even teach you how lucky you are to know how to read them. Another thing that crossed my mind is how much we take these "simple things" for granted, instead of realizeing how forturnate we really are that we are literate.

Fredrick Douglas, How I Learned to Read and Write from The Life. Questions for reflection and writing

In considering Douglas' fight to learn to read and write, it makes me feel a little ashamed of myself. I have been thinking back to when I was learning to be literate and I really can't remember the process. It seems the only thing that comes to mind is sitting in our reading circles and copying the letters our teacher had written on my big chief notepad. I guess it makes me feel a little irresponsible, in away, that I can't remember such a valuable lesson, another thing I take for granted without realizing how much it means to me. There are struggles in every one's life, granted Douglas fought an amazing fight for something he wanted. I am not sure I would have fought so hard, I think I would have just bowed out like the rest of the slaves and accepted that it was to be my fate.

experiences in writing before English 100

Ø  Before this course, what did you anticipate?

I honestly, didn't know what to expect. I definitely didn't expect you. I thought my professor would be the proverbial, bi-focal twirling, gray haired lady that was my English teacher in high school. It's funny where our mind takes us.

Ø  What were you unsure of and why?

I was unsure of everything, I still am. I remember writing a research paper my senior year on the paranormal and getting an A. That is about the extent of the knowledge I retained. I have been out of the "learning" classroom so long, I was afraid it would be to hard for me to catch up or grasp anything.

Ø  Discuss your process as a reader and as a writer.

 I have written in a journal sporadically through my life. It was just notes when my life would get really chaotic, other than work related writing, I have no real experience. I do read all the time, I really think that is what is saving my nether region right now. I think I am so used to seeing words on paper and the form, that I must have picked some things up from there. I read everything! I love to read.

dicussing the two essays, Whitfield(300) and Barnett-Bey(279)

Granted I am not in class, I just wanted you to know that I read, both of the essays and of course the one's in which they were referring too.

Nov. 15 - Discuss “Reading and Writing:  A Journey Through My Life” by Hilary Whitfield (300) and “Read With Purpose” by Cheryl Barnett-Bey (279). Discuss the connection to Task Four.

 

I did not care for, "Reading and Writing: A Journey Through My Life" by Hilary Whitfield. I thought it was random and she overused the "reading and writing" comment so much, I wanted to strangle myself. I did some editing in my book. I know I am just learning, but I don't think she had a good connection or feel for what she was writing. However, there were some statements on pg. 300, that I liked. When she is talking about how parent read to us and help us in learning to write, she mentions " to expand our imagination." I like that. Also she mention that she reads fiction and she likes "to journey throughout a book." I connected to that.I totally agree with her opinions and the relationship she has with books, for that is also how I feel.

 

In "Read With Purpose", by Cheryl Barnett-Bey, I connected personally to what she had to say. I had to read the essay, "The love of Books",by Gloria Naylor, to "read" for myself, where she was coming from. I too, use writing as an out. I way to release emotions or just random thoughts I can't seem to figure out in my head. It seems if I write them down and then go back and look, I get the "aha" moment. I really liked this essay.

 

I actually think I am going to use: "The love of books" and "Watcher at the Gates", for my task 4. I am not sure "Watcher is approved". If you could please let me know, thanks. I would like to work on that today, I think.

For Mom: just writing

Your strength is so amazing
you bend but never break.
Your love, your courage and your faith
"It's from GOD, is what you'd say.
You are so very gentle
in your words and your way.
But when someone makes you mad
Look out! For Heaven's sake!
I love you so much for who you are
my mom, my keeper, my friend.
I could never stand as straight as you
but I will try until the end.
I have a great role model
keeping up is quite a chore.
You are just so fabulous
I could never love you more.

For Dad: just writing

The music of my childhood
makes the memories start.
I know you do not know this
but it always hits my heart.
So many that have come and gone
time they took from me.
Gone just like a mistress
leaving you and me.
I have not forgotten
the good times and the bad.
I love the music in your heart
for it's what makes you Dad.
I love you more than anything
I have music too.
It makes up part of who I am
and that its part of you.

Through: not assigned just writing

Through

While lying here in bed
 my thoughts have turned to you.
I'm thinking of how glad I am
for having all this room.
You once were such a part of me
and now we are all through.
If by chance you think of me
I'd have to say, "You're screwed!"
You've taken all you will from me
brought crazy to my room.
Why don't you just fly away
upon her whisk of broom.
You see I am different now
my heart not filled with gloom.
I have found a place without you
clear of all the doom.
I can finally say,"I was mistaken"
the faults are all on you.
So slink away quietly
for that is what you do.
I have gladly wiped you away
like a piece of shite on my shoe.

self evaluation of task three

• What is the thesis for your paper? My thesis for this paper was education and how important it is. I stress how being a nerd should be what we aspire to be. My thesis statement was, "I spent more time getting ready in one morning, than I did on my homework the whole year." 
• List the main points you make in your paper. I described my high school studies or lack there of and compared them to my friends and others. I also touched on the idea of having some social skill classes in lower grades and putting more emphasis  on acedemics than sports and other activities.

• What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation? Everything from grammar, sentence structure and mistakes in my quotes.

• What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper? Once again, everything, you lead and I follow. I would like to say that the tests for this class are very helpful. I like that you get an idea of what other students have done and when you see some mistakes in the book itself, it makes you feel like you don't have to be perfect. It makes me less afraid to just put myself out there and see where it goes.

• How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting? I usually write down some ideas and then just spill all out at one time on the keyboard. This task however, got me a little. I got half way through my paper and just went blank, I couldn't go any farther. I woke up the next morning a did a little more. a together, total time at keyboard, I would say was six times.

• What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on? I had trouble pulling it together, I didn't have problems with ideas and situations, I had trouble putting me in it. I don't know,does that makes sense.

• What are most pleased with about this paper? I think, a small think by the way, that I improve each time I write something. I am not sure. I am scared to death of task four.

Analysis: "America Need Its Nerds"

     In Leanoid Fridman's, "America Needs Its Nerds", he makes some good points. What really got my interest was when he spoke of "importing our scientists and intellectuals from abroad." pg 210 He then says, "America's culture has not adapted to the demands of our times, to the economic realities that demand a highly educated workforce and innovative intelligent leadership."pg 210 Is it any wonder that companies are choosing to do more business overseas, to me this explains it. I have to admit that I am guilty of this "nerd/geek" attitude myself and I have to say I am ashamed. Is this a way that we protect ourselves from embarrassment, by pointing a finger and laughing at someone that truly has something no else has, a mind and intelligence, not Gucci or Channel, it really is something to think about.

task three, reflection

     I am not sure yet where my focus is, all of this touches me, Leonid Fridman's "America Needs Its Nerds" and "In praise of the F Word", grabbed my attention the most. Kozel interests me greatly, however, I think there is to much information there to be examined. I could do a lot of research for this one, in fact, I talked to my son's science teacher briefly on the subject and there is to much to put in an essay. I am still thinking about it. I am thinking about going large and using both of these essays.

Analysis of one aspect Kozel examines

     I find it very disturbing that in the school system there are so called professionals sleeping in class, while there students are left to "talk quietly." pg 50 Kozel "Savage Inequalities" To me this has nothing to do with the location of the school or the funds it takes to run it. It is an injustice that should be stopped. I think the blame lies entirely on the teacher and the head of that school system. In reading this text, I was so surprised and I found I was more than a little naive about how some of our children live. I have always been an advocate for our children and I will remain to be. This book is just opening my eyes to how bad it is, granted this was several years ago, however, things have more than likely not improved. When he spoke of the teacher holding the baby in the middle of the classroom and her approach to education, I wondered where this school was and then to find out that she was just down the hall from the other 5th grades class rooms I was astonished. How is this not child abuse? My heart hurts for those little ones. How do the children feel being in a classroom with such disruption when right down the hall is a teacher with love and goodness in her heart. I wonder if they feel "not chosen" or somehow wronged by not being in that classroom. It is no wonder the world is the way it is. This just enforces my opinion that it starts at home and I am including the teachers upbringing.

Response to question for task three

     Teacher, Mother, Friend, Child are all subjects you can learn from. If you participate and are active in the world, you will find that you are taught many things daily. The traditional role of student and teacher would be a person in front of the classroom, sharing  knowledge they have with someone. In turn, the person they are sharing with is to take in the knowledge and learn what it is that is being said, done, etc.
      I like the thought of learning from everyone, I am sure that even the "teacher" learns things from students. I know I have learned from my girlfriends, things not to do on dates, places to go and even who not to go with. My son helps me sometimes with my homework and he definitely educates me on the drama at school, I get an update every night. My mother has taught me to cook, clean, do my finances and to work hard. She has also taught me faith and love. My teachers have taught me that a mind is amazing. It can dream, put you in the book you are reading and it never runs out of room for information. I have been the teacher, I have been the student and I love both roles.

For you to analyze page two hundred and seven "Let Teen-Agers Try Adulthood" question three

      I think Botstein's proposal of reconstruction is a little absurd, has he actually met and talked to a fifteen or sixteen year old "child". That's right I said child. I know for a fact that it is not always the fault of the schools and peer pressure. Botstien writes, "When puberty meets education and learning in modern America, the victory of puberty masquerading as popular culture and the tyranny of peer groups based on ludicrous values meet little resistance." 1 I wonder if he considered the background or home life of these children. If a child is raised to disrespect others and is showed no value or consideration, then this is where these actions start. The idea to me to send a fifteen or sixteen year old of to college is terrifying, most of them wouldn't even have a driver's license. I feel sorry for our children today, the pressures that they have to live with are monumental. I would guess that most are from a single parent home, if not the probability that both parents work out of the home is great. That means the child is probably left to fend for himself when he or she gets out of school. This child is probably in after school activities, such as sports, brain bowl or FFA, so they have to get themselves to and from that,as well. As parents we do what we can, but we cannot do it all. If they are misbehaving or acting out, it is usually because they are unhappy, jealous of someone or bored. I think putting them a higher level of academics or some type of honors program would be sufficient. My point is, to me for their age and what is expected of them, is more than what is manageable on an adult level, put in there the lack of life experience and the emotional roller coaster of being a teen and I think that spells disaster in capitol letters. Let the kids be kids.
     I do agree that the school systems could use some updating, to be more challenging, however the cost of that would be substantial and there is hardly money in some areas to pay the teachers. I feel, our young adults today need all the guidance they can get. I believe it starts at home and it should be left at that, if anything needs to change, it's the way we raise(or don't) our children today, send the real adults to how to raise and care for your children class. That is a more likely solution. 

1. Introduction to College Writing English 100 page 205 Leon Botstein, "Let Teen-Agers Try Adulthood"

Summary of Caroline Bird's "Where College Fails Us"

     In Bird's "Where College Fails Us", she questions if college is the best option after graduating. She backs up her writing with evidence of saturation in the career fields, the expense versus the payback, the quality of education versus what the student is willing to put into it. She uses statistics, studies and examples to back up her point of view.

response to first question in reflection and writing for "Where College Fails Us"

     I am in college for the basic reason of bettering myself. I may not get the pay that I want or the benefits that I need to support myself but, I will have the satisfaction of finishing what I have set out to do. I found Bird's essay a little depressing and negative. I wonder how many people have read this, threw up their hands and said,"Forget it, I knew I couldn't do this." I know this education is going to cost me a lot and not in just dollars, it is going to be stressful; it will take time away from my son and family; it has already hurt my business and income. However, I still see it as a positive step forward.
     In the last 21 years, since graduating high school, I have learned some very valuable lessons and one of them is to get an education. I don't know how many people on a daily basis, especially, since I have started college, that say, "I wish I had gone to college." I don't think that it is a matter of expense or time and if it is, it shouldn't be. You are in debt most of your life anyway, so why not "buy" something truly priceless. I have learned so much from just being around the different people at school. I would never have met these people or learned exactly what it means to be living a different life, if it wasn't for these past weeks.
     I can't think of a better way to be spending my time, my money, or efforts than on this education. I have hopes and dreams as everyone does and this is the start to them. I believe everyone is different and if college isn't right for them, then so be it. I just hope that they will always keep it in the backs of their minds and know that anything is possible, especially when it is something you have thought through on your own, have a plan and know where they are headed. The saying "You learn something new everyday" is so true and I learned that I was wrong. I can do well in college, I am not stupid and I absolutely love learning.

Summary of Hilary Whitfield's "Children Left Behind"

     In Hilary Whitfield's " Children Left Behind", she describes the troubles in some of the inner city schools and the effects it has on children and their learning experience. She believes that when they have to deal with violence and poor school conditions the possibilities of dropping out is greater. She even mentions the possibility of prison. She also understands and can relate with Kozol's "Savage Inequalities". In her personal experiences she mentions school conditions, violence,the purchase of handcuffs instead of school supplies and teachers giving false grades and watching t.v. to support her writings.

interview process task 2

What questions still remain? The number one question that remains is.... How did I do on my paper?

How did it go? I thought it went pretty well; My mom and I used e-mail and the phone in the beginning. I e-mailed her the questions and had her answer them for me. I read over her answers and then called her to ask for additional information.

Where did you conduct it? For the final interview, we sat down at the kitchen table and went over all the questions.

What did you learn? I like the writing process.

How do you intend to transition to the writing process? I sat down and wrote a very rough draft and then I went to the computer.

What concerns do you have? I feel I could have asked a lot more questions. However, for the first attempt at this type of work, I feel pretty good about it.

How do you expect to overcome this? When you practice something, you have no choice but to improve.

evaluation for task two

What is the thesis for your paper? sentence three in the first paragraph of my essay, is my thesis statement. "I was talking.......when she was in school."

List the main points you make in your paper. The main point of my paper was to see how my mother's school experience differed from my own, some of the points I made were the difference in the dress, how they walked to get to the bus, punishment and how even then the urge to continue education was great.

What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper? Everything.

How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting? I mostly wrote everything out on paper and then went to the keyboard. I did not do an outline, I just put information where I thought it belonged. I made about three drafts at the keyboard before finalizing and printing. This does not include the final draft.

What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on? I think for the first interview paper it went pretty well, knowing the basic layout and way of doing it , I would definitely get more information next time and I think spend more time on the overall "story".

What are most pleased with about this paper? That I actually wrote the paper without "geeking"  and no assistance. I am not sure of my grade or how I did but, in peer review everyone seemed to like it and I really enjoyed working on it. I think I really like writing.

What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation? Best advice was what to elaborate on and what to leave out.

writers response question to " Becoming Educated" pg. 214

I am to define and explain what an education means to me. To look this up in the dictionary it looks like this(with a little editing).
[ej-oo-key-shuhn –noun the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.
 In my life it means what is listed above, plus a new start and a new career. It means a total change in direction and a change in the process of how I think and live my life. I am not used to the organization, skills and processes it takes in getting this education. I am used to living the life of a single working mother. This means you just live day to day and you schedule around your child. I am trying to get this education so that my future will be more secure. I would like to have the benefits of working for a company that has insurance and maybe some retirement, however, I also want the pay for this job that I deserve. I know from experience that in order to receive the advancements and raises needed to compete in the professional world, you need a college education.

I love everyday of going to college. I feel I am blessed to have this opportunity, to expand my mind; so that I can think bigger and see the possibilities, to learn things I have always wished I had in earlier years: math, the correct English procedures, and just basically the social aspect of it is amazing. I think I have an open mind and there is nothing that teaches you more about that than seeing and watching how other people live and get through there day.

Five open ended questions for my interview for task 2

Respond to your blog, a list of at least five questions you will ask or have asked of your subject. Explain to us why you have chosen these questions.
1.  How would you compare your experience in school to your children's?   as in, peer pressure, rules, etc.
2.  How did you get to and from school? Would you say it was more inconvenient than when we went?
3.  Was there a difference in dress codes for boys and girls? Was it just known or was it in some kind of handbook?
4.  Did you have any favorite classes or teachers? Did they influence you in any special way?  Did you have "best friends"? Was it similar to how those relationships are today?  example " I can't wait to tell you",  "Did you hear",  "Did you see",
5.  What were your adult life goals and did you meet them? How do you feel about that?

Task 2 subject and focus

The person I am interviewing is Carolyn Elifrits my mother
The focus I would like to distinguish (e.g. explore or discuss) is ) How her years in school were different from mine.

"Casa" question pg 136

Cuento is a story or tale.
 Some examples are Little Red Riding Hood, Cindrella, Jack and the Bean Stalk, Hansel and Gretel, Little Boy Blue, The Boy who Cried Wolf.

"Sister Flowers" writing topics question

I remember when I was around 11 years old my great Aunt Doris, who was my grandpa's sister-n-law, came to visit. I was so dazzled by her. She seemed so fancy in her pretty outfits, high heels and makeup. I was a tomboy and I guess I had never noticed these things on other people or maybe it was an "awakening" of my womanhood. I also remember how she talked and that she wore light pink frosted nail polish. I loved it. I went home and polished my nails for the first time in my life. When Aunt Doris saw it, she didn't say "Oh, Penny, you have polish all over your fingers" or "you did a crappy job". She said, "Penny, can you open this polish for me and let's do our nails". She showed me the steps to a manicure and then she said ,"ladies only wear light colored  polish" and that if I were going to be a lady that is what I needed. So she polished my nails and I think I wore it till the very last speck chipped off. I loved her , she made me feel so important, special and pretty. A very important thing to a new "woman of the world". Guess what my favorite color of nail polish is? ...red, go figure.

Why are you interested in these subjects? I am interested in learning more about my mom's experiences in school, she has told me some stories over the years and I just would like to know more.
What makes him/her interesting and unique? The time period that my mom went to school there were still "expectations" of dress and behavior. She spoke once of wearing her jeans under her dress to school. Girls were not allowed to were pants to school at this time.
What sort of questions would you ask and why? How did you get to school? Did the school district provide transportation? What were the rules, such as disapline, dress and educational expectations.
What sort of problems do you think may arise for Task Two? I am afraid I won't get enough information or bring it to paper correctly.
What do you anticipate? Why? I anticipate alot of notes and rough drafts because I want to get the task done as completely as possible.
What questions do you have for Task I do not have any questions at this time about the task assigned. I am a do and learn type of person. I am sure I will have many questions after I get some information on paper.

Self-Evaluation

Self-Evaluation

What is the thesis for your paper? My thesis is depression and how hard it is to live with.

List the main points you make in your paper. I tried to explain in terms of how it affected my life, the points were the difficulties, some of the symptoms and that it is treatable but does not just go away.

What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation? That if you don't want to talk about it, don't mention it.

What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper? I think the most helpful was the information on run on sentences, sentence structure and the punctuation review.

How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting? I wrote a few notes on paper at first, got on the computer and just wrote. As it turns out I didnt write what I did my notes on. I have maybe three drafts, I am really not sure. I wrote at all times of the day, mostly in bed at night on the first couple ideas, then the computer.

What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on? Well this being my first thesis paper, ever, I think I would have done high school English differently. I was trying to show humor in my paper so that it wouldn't seem so glum or whiney. I absolutely didn't want to come off as poor me or why me. I am not sure I did it the right way, but I did like my paper, so we will see.

What are most pleased with about this paper?
That I finished it on time and I think without many mistakes. I feel like I am on a reality show and I am waiting to see if I get voted off the island. Honestly, I am also pleased with how my paper sounds, if that makes sense.

Fill in the blanks

My topic is living with depression, and my assertion is that there is help. The main idea is to make people aware.

"On Becoming a Chicano"

I describe myself as a caucasion american, with Indian, German, Polish and Irish decent.
I have gone through struggles as all people have, I wouldn't say that mine have been any harder, just different. I grew up very sheltered. My parents went through a "religous phase", meaning the extreme. I had to overcome and learn what the world was really like in my adult life and that can be difficult.
Mr. Rodriguez, in a sense, did the same. He threw out all he knew and then when the time was right for him, when he "grew" enough of his own self. He was alright with coming back to who he was.

"How It Feels to Be Colored Me"

I label myself, older, mother, overweight, odd, sister, friend, outgoing, sensitive, curious. I think each day we aquire a new label for ourselves.
Like Hurston, I fit in too. I am different but in the big picture, I add color and something different to the bag.
My self-identity can be positive and negative, it is good to know who you are as long as it doesnt define your whole self, I may be overweight, but I am not alone. I may be older, but I am also wiser for it. I am Penny Elifrits a combination of all.

"Rite of Passage" hw for sept 6 th

Response for question 2:
  In the description he gives of where he grew up, he describes it as a safe place where you would think nothing bad could happen or the thought of bad things couldn't take place: quiet, protected, green ( I wonder if he used this as a reference to, naive.) It's as if he was surprised or taken aback that his mother would let something like his grandmother getting sick happen. He talks of how fierce and protective she was, no nonsense. 
   He was scared of his grandmother, he didn't know her anymore.  In talking about how his grandmother would relate to him and how he had a special place with her and in her sickness, this person he was so close to disappeared and he no longer had that "safe" place or her.He said he had gone to her room maybe once.
   His father was a quite funny man. His mother fierce, she was loving but also unapproachable, to busy loving and taking care of them to spend one on one time. He talks of his grandma, like he was the only one that knew her like he did. His mother mentioned that she was benign, non existing.  When his uncle came back from the war, he mentioned how large he seemed and then said he is now in insurance, in a way taking the importance away from him and that after all his mother had done, how the other siblings judged her harshly for putting their mother in the nursing home, thinking that she was being cruel.
    It seems then that when he looks back, he thinks of his grandma when he goes to see or is spending time with his mother, wishing "if he only knew, what he knows now" type of thing. I am wondering also if when he refers to his mothers soul coming through, she is always smiling and happy, he is saying that his grandma was truly an unhappy soul, that is why she acted so badly and describing the difference in his mother and his grandmother. I think, his point is that while his grandmother was good to him, she always wanted something to change and wasn't happy, where his mother was happy with what she had and made the best life she could for all of her family, giving herself.

task one:ideas cont

    I know alot of people are having trouble today, I don't know if it's a product of enviroment or the way we are born, but depression is very hard to live with.
    14 years ago after my son was born, I started showing signs. I had no idea what was going on. I was tired all the time, didn't have the interest in things I used to and even personal relationships had no importance. I wanted to sleep and be alone. I couldn't think correctly, just putting thoughts in order or daily tasks, like doing the dishes seemed to be like climbing  a  mountain. In 2002, I had my first breakdown, I was sent to the hospital where I finally realized, hey I am not alone. There were people there worse off than me and I had to wonder how long this had been going on. Why had I never heard of this.
     The mental ward is never a place I wish anyone to be. I am a free thinker however and this allowed me to see, that as bad as I felt, there were alot worse situations. I remember sitting in the lounge on the second day and there was this really pretty young girl on the phone with a car dealership ordering a Ford F-150, she wanted it to be canary yellow, big tires, four wheel drive and she wanted to pay $75,000 with her payments around $200.00 a month. I am sitting there overhearing this, still with no knowlege of how mental illness worked in our brains, thinking this girl is really trying to impress someone but I am not sure she understands the process of buying a new vehichle. Yes, I am very nieve I stick my head in the sand and that is probably why I didnt recognize that she was "sick". I honestly thought at the time that she was one of the nurses. In group that afternoon, I found out what By-polar was and it broke my heart. This free spending nurse was a new mother and she was By-polar. I just sat there looking at her, thinking I never would have guessed that and my heart went out to her. It was then I decided, to learn as much as I could about mental health and try to help. I also, realized, "Hey, you are doing pretty well, compared to some and get yourself up!. I wish that is all it took to heal the mind, hormones and chemicals in your brain. I was prescribed a bunch of medicines, went through group sessions, did the arts and crafts hour like a good kindergartner and  learned all I could from the nurses and they sent me home. I was thinking, 'I got this you aren't one of them, you have nothing to worry about."
     In 2005, I was back in the hospital, worse this time. I was thinking I wasnt worth anything and that my son didnt deserve to have someone like me as a mother and that I was no use in this world. I just remember how dark it was,  in my mind and my thinking, there was no light to lift me and I would to GOD all the time that he would bring me back up. I was in therapy at the time and this is when I met my doctor. I was a mess and he sent me to the hospital immediately, I wanted to hurt myself. I know, how do people get that way and that is just crazy, it's a cop out, what about your family how would they feel. I know what you are thinking. However, when you get down that far, you have no control over this. It's like the devil has ahold of you and the more you pray the more he pulls you down. That's the only way I know how to explain this. You arent thinking I will hurt my family, you think you dont matter, you think you are just taking up space and that everyone would be better off without you. In my case I just had no self worth, I had just been divorced, he didnt want me so why would anyone else, I must be a horrible person, why would anyone want to be around me. In my ex-husbands defense, if I didnt understand what was wrong with me, why would he. That is a whole different story, so we will move on.
     What I am trying to get across is that you could be sitting beside the most cheerful, smart funny person you have ever met in your life and inside this person lies a demon, that takes over their life when no one is looking, you put on whatever face you have to, to get through the day so that no one will think, "my GOD they are crazy or what is wrong with her." That's right you hide you are afraid someone will know and talk about you and want answer and you have none. All you know to say is that it is a medical condition and I am trying.

task one: ideas

Mom
Dad
Living with Depression
Karen Cotton(our relationship)
Friends
On campus
Dad's accident (grain bin)
the art of smiling (public relations)<<<<

First attempt

     My name is Penny Elifrits, 39 years young, and mother of 1. I have been divorced twice, owner/operator of my own business and I am seeking  new experiences, a change in routine and in totality a new career.
     I graduated in 1989, from Fillmore C-1 High School, home of the Blue Devils. I was a cheerleader, played basketball, softball, and loved to socialize. A student I was not, I read when I had to and wrote as little as possible. I had a love of people and life that kind of overflowed and bubbled out. Somewhere, I lost that in the last 21 years and I figure it has something to do with the boredom I feel constantly.  So here I am in college, seeking my dreams and I have so many, I am really not sure what I want to do first. My son is now 15 years old and in four years he will be on his way to making big things happen and I don't want to be left behind. No, I don't want to be one of those parents that calls all the time and shows up on weekends and hang out with him and his friends, because that is all I know how to do. Being his mother is the biggest achievement I will ever accomplish, but I am ready to start getting back the "old" me. I want him to see, that no matter what or how long, you want something, it is never to late.
     I have a strange personality, I guess. I love adventure and spontaneity, but most of the time, I have to have a plan and directions. I am someone that could seem extremely "blonde", but when I know directions and have a plan, I am almost unstoppable. I am very open and loving, to a fault, I have been told. However, I am also very strong willed, stubborn, critical and hard to know. I put myself out there, jump in with both feet and deal with the consequences later, or I think, stew and over analize everything.  I read all the time now, some of my favorites are J.D. Robb, Harlen Coben, Steven King, really just about anything as long as it says something interesting to me, it's like a movie in my head. I would love to learn to write and I am very excited about this class. I have no idea how to structure a paragraph, margin my paper or really anything to do with writing. I just know I have allot of thoughts, all the time. My favorite color is red, pink is second. I love fall and the smells that come with it. I love my family, friends, my baby dog; bananas( who is just like me), and most important my son. I am so excited to get to meet knew people and walking around campus today was amazing. People of all ages and races, probably feeling like I do. A little shell shocked, scared to death, overwhelmed, but for the most part, hopeful.

penz